But it's a soft landing and happy tails for these suburban cowboys.
Once there was a time when mechanical bulls were truly wild. They bucked like oil derricks, delivered the occasional spinal injury and gave the whole herd a bad name.
"They were intended for people who want to get thrown off violently," said Evan Perry as he stood by the controls of a legless mechanical bull on a recent Tuesday afternoon. This bull, which is currently pastured in Roanoke's Valley View Mall, was said to be family-safe.
And shortly, Austin Mercy, a smiling 8-year-old from Roanoke, hopped on while his father, Scott, stood nearby.
"You got to try everything once," the elder Mercy observed while the bull bucked and spun. "Like with boxing. I've been in the ring one time, and I can say I've tried it."
Exactly 90 seconds later, Austin could say he had tried a mechanical bull.
Riders over 12 were a bit more hesitant. As mallgoers paused to watch, two young men (average age 19.5) who had hung back for several minutes finally took a turn. Both lasted about 30 seconds before they were pitched onto the inflated ring that circles the bull.
Some may have been tamed, but this remains the mechanical bull's reason for existing. "People like seeing other people get tossed around," Perry said.
Like karaoke night, the appeal of riding a mechanical bull often increases with alcohol, Perry noted, which may explain why the bulls have historically been a fixture of the tavern. But Perry's employer, Dave's Moonwalks & More, discovered that kids are eager riders, too.
The bulls they rent out have settings for gentle, though the difficulty knob turns all the way up to 7. Perry said he can shake most riders off by level 4 (operators control the bull with a joystick).
As might be expected, riding a robo-bull is only vaguely like riding a real bull.
"All a bucking machine can do is go faster," explained Ty Murray, a nine-time professional rodeo champion. A bull that has made it to the Professional Bull Riding ring, he said, has much more sophisticated ways of shaking its rider.
Murray, who officially endorses the Rocking B. Bucking Machine, drew a parallel with baseball. He said the mechanical bull is to a real bull what hitting baseballs in a batting cage is to facing down a Randy Johnson fastball.
"It gives you a simulation for what it would be like without the chance of real injury or death," Murray said in a phone call from Texas.
Most rodeo realism disappears when the mechanical bull rider is bucked off. Professional bull riders, when dislodged, try to turn belly down and roll, because the force of a hard landing can break hand bones, Murray said. The amateur mechanical bull rider can get by with a much less disciplined free-fall.
A few of the afternoon's riders proved this at the mall, falling backside first, at least one taking what might be a career-ending spill if it had been in the rodeo arena.
James Parker, a 22-year-old from Bedford County, drew praise when he spun 180 degrees on the seat of his pants, adding a full second to his time, before being deposited on the inflated landing surface. When he was standing again, he gave an explanation: "I got this big belly. Once it starts" -- he moved his belly to the side to demonstrate -- "there's a momentum problem."
At last it came time for a fellow who had been standing around the bull for an hour or so to take his turn. The decision was aggravated by the jeers of a man who was watching nearby with a baby carriage (presumably his excuse for not riding the bull).
The rider, a 24-year-old Roanoke resident who was concerned about inflaming the sciatica in his left hip, was reassured by the operator that there would be no funny business. He climbed onto the bull.
Perry called out a few pointers: Bring your legs up on the bull's neck ("the last place you want your legs" on a real bull, Murray said). Hold onto the single rope rein with one hand; use the other arm for balance.
The ride began somewhat smoothly, not much more than a hostile carousel ride. After a few seconds, the bull began a more complex bit of twists and heaves, and somewhere shy of 30 seconds later, the young man landed on his rump.
"Bull riding, in a nutshell, is having a countermove for everything," Murray said.
And the countermove after a fall is to hop up, straighten your clothes and step from the faux rodeo back into the mall.
